Hello! Today I want to discuss about our relationships. People interact with each other every day and their relations are not always good. This misunderstanding causes conflicts, anger and even criminal acts. So what can we do to stop such a destructing process?
First of all it is very important to find the reason of the conflict. Sometimes people quarrel between them, but they don’t know why they are doing it. There are also cases when people have different reasons in the same conflict. I believe that every effect has a specific reason, that why it is so important to find it.
Ok, after we found the reason of the conflict, we have to find a solution for it. Here comes the next important point of a quarrel: misunderstanding. The problem is that every person has it’s own opinion in which he truly believes and is ready to defend. I agree that it is very good and useful to know how to protect your personal views and opinions, but it is not so difficult as to understand the opinions of other people. Only this quality of our character will allow us to be loved, understand and respected people. It will raise us to the next level of relationships with others.

Can I expand the topic? It is very interesting for me question.
Why do not people appreciate a good attitude toward them?
Of course, some people appreciated, but not all of them
Some people just believe that they deserve such attitude and that all around just have to treat them great. Why do they have to appreciate it if it is so naturally? Only then, when they are being treated like dirt, they begin to compare and appreciate a good attitude ...
There are people who take it for granted. And then are surprised that someone is outraged.
Some people can not be a dependent, humiliated position, it;s how they consider this situation.
But I think it is necessary to have a positive attitude to all people. And everything will be all right.
We have to do a good deed and than forget about it. Justice exists, so do not be afraid to get all that due to us sooner or later.

It is very interesting. It seems to me that there should be no any reason to interact with the people who consider their opinion as only correct. People have to understand opinions of others too and to be constructive. How possible to talk with somebody hearing only himself or herself? I think that type of people is very difficult for communication.

Sometimes conflicts happen even with the closet friends, relatives or spouses. I think that the main is to make first step to try to get the peace. However, in my case it is very difficult. My close people know about that, so, they take the first step. Also no matter of any quarrel, I cannot be angry longer than 3 days. However, the real deep understanding and relationships have to be in this case.

The problem is that mainly the reasons of quarrel are very minor, however, even from small match can happen big fire. It is a kind of a psychological relief, especially in the family life. But it may lead to serious misunderstanding or even broken relationships. That is why solving the conflict shall be correct.

I think that the main in this situation is not to get the “second round” of quarrel by the words such as “you were wrong, however, I forgive you” or “enough to offend you are first who started.” Also, continuous clearing up who was right and who was wrong may lead to the new quarrel, or attempts to prove your rightness. The best way, as for me, is accepting the right of other people to have their own point of view and to continue the communications. If you are sincere in this – other party will react immediately.

That will be better avoiding the blames. You can express your feeling sadness because of the happened quarrel in words. You shall not defeat people – you should build the relationships. Even if they don’t wish to relief the quarrel now, they will do it in some time for sure!

Old man, yes, you're right people do not appreciate good relationships, even more very often they pay by
ungratefulness. This is because people look in relationships for benefits for they self and if they don't get it at least one time, all good that were made before are immediately forgotten. In order not to get upset, you shouldn't do good things for people and wait for mutual feedback from their side, do good things for yourself, for soul, for the harmony of your inner world.

As Camus used to say:"The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding".

I totally agree that the key to good relationship is understanding, ability to put oneself in someone else's shoes. We do not have to assume that everyone sees the world as we do, everyone comes from a different background and has had a unique experience that shaped their personality. Even doing "good" things without understanding the personality of the other one can do more harm that use.
Quarrels and fights are inevitable in any relationships, they are a healthy way of releasing the tension and expressing one's emotions. I guess what's important in a fight ,besides expressing your own discontent and anger , is to hear the position of your beloved one, to understand where is he coming from. Sometimes it might hurt you and add too much to bear to your understanding of the other person and you won't like to continue your relationship with him. But it might as well deepen your relationship and make you appreciate your partner/friend even more. Facing the truth is better than living in illusion.

Help me out here, are we discussing all interaction as relationships, or sticking wholly to romantic relationships? For the purposes of this answer, I'm sticking to relationships more broadly? Just curious.

I think what everyone's saying here is largely true - people struggle to really understand what other people are going through, because we're all inherently selfish by nature. If you think about it, the ability to empathize is developed fairly late in children. During early childhood, children are inherently self-centred - that's not to say they don't want others to be happy, they do, but they struggle to imagine that anyone wants to be happy in a way that's different from them. A five year old will genuinely not understand why their dieting mother doesn't want to go get a Happy Meal at McDonald's. Because that's what the five year old wants. And she'll assume everyone else wants that too. The ability to understand that other people have differing points of view from your own is one of the fundamental stages in growing up, and is measured by psychologists. However, I think we always keep a measure of the difficulty to relate to other people, and it is particularly evident in our daily interactions. How often have you had a friend nag you to go out even though you clearly don't want to? Therefore as important as it is to empathize and to gain an understanding of other people, it's not possible to immerse yourself in that completely.

I think, partly because of this innate selfishness, like Lilly said, arguments and quarrels can be really good. Because sometimes it takes someone telling you flat-out, "listen up, man, I don't like that" to understand that they don't. The main thing is not to eliminate quarrels and fights. That's an unrealistic goal. Because every person's different and will always have differing points of view and opinions on topics. The key issue is to learn from fights, and not to rehash the same argument two days later. I think a lot of people fail to get this. They think that if they're fighting with a partner or friend, they are incompatible or whatever. No. You're incompatible if, even after the fight, you fail to understand what your partner/friend's point was and why they got upset with you. Take the earlier example, a friend nagging to go out on the town. That can easily become a quarrel. And if both parties are mature about it, if you say, "I'm sorry, but I really don't feel up for going out, I have an early morning meeting Saturday morning and my cat's sick," and the friend respects that and next time asks you politely if you have things on etc etc etc, you can grow from that exchange. If the friend then gets annoyed and thinks you're making excuses and says nothing, but next time does the exact same thing, then there's an incompatibility factor.

I guess my point is, don't try and eliminate arguments from your relationships. It's not healthy or normal. You will never fully get your partner or friend, because you are a flawed human being and so are they. Instead, next time you fight, ask yourself what happened, why it happened, and how you can try and avoid it in the future. No avoid fighting. Avoid that specific fight. And actually grow and learn. Don't hold grudges. Just accept that this is an issue that you two differ on, and respect each other's point of view. I think this is the key to functioning, successful relationships. You know the trope about the bickering old married couple? Well, this all ties into that. If you're going in for the long haul, you have to be willing to criticize, complain and voice your opinions - but it has to go both ways. Your friends and partner should always feel like they can tell you how they feel about stuff you may disagree on them with.