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ТЕМА: How do you forgive the hurt?

How do you forgive the hurt? 10 года 6 мес. назад #1251

  • Lilly
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I believe that forgiving is very very important for your own peace of mind. Forgiving does not necessarily mean to continue your relationship with someone who hurt you. But to let your anger go and to see that it was just a wrong person to have around will help you to move on and be happy.

I have had a disappointing relationship with a guy who has hurt me. After many years i can say that he was insensitive and self-centered at the moment, i was very naive and insecure. We both made mistakes and i have learnt from them. I am thankful for those lessons and forgave that person. He was just not right for me (and i couldn't see it) and i dont see the point of carrying this anger with me anymore.
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How do you forgive the hurt? 9 года 11 мес. назад #2819

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Without exaggeration only God can forgive the hurt and forget.
But we - are not God!

The church teach us that God does not require from us to forget about the hurt (insult).

I agree that forgiveness does not mean "forget" (and vice versa). To my mind "to forgive" means - don't want to revenge our insulter. And experienced memory of the pain will help us in the future not to cause similar pain in neighbor.
:)
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How do you forgive the hurt? 9 года 11 мес. назад #2824

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Oh, tanushKA, I totally agree with your words:
God does not require from us to forget about the hurt (insult). To my mind "to forgive" means - don't want to revenge our insulter. And experienced memory of the pain will help us in the future not to cause similar pain in neighbor.

In other words - we should have a good and big heart :) :) :)
and ask God for strength and mind for forgiveness our insulter. I know and understand well that it is not easy. But this (our decision) depends on our future: live free and happy :) , or to be a prisoner of sin :evil:
thanks
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How do you forgive the hurt? 9 года 11 мес. назад #2825

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I believe that we should always forgive. I do not agree that forgiveness equals weakness and fear to lose the person. Many people in my life who have hurt, but whom I forgave i did not keep in my life. I just let them go, I do not get attached to them, but I forgive them. I think forgiving in many cases has nothing to do with what other people feel, it is a lot about what we feel inside. Forgiveness is letting yourself free. Showing that you love yourself and you care about yourself, about your purity, about your peaceful state of mind and soul. It is saying “no” to the devil inside of your and saying “yes” to the god and love inside of you. This is what forgiveness in my opinion is.
Why is it so hard to forgive? Why do we struggle when trying to forgive? I think there are several reasons for that. Firstly, people usually lack understanding of some things. People do not always understand that people who hurt are in hurt themselves, people in pain do painful things. People can only give what they have themselves. So people who are happy inside, will bring happiness in your life, and people who are hurting can bring nothing but hurt, as it is all that they have. When understanding it, we become more patient to people who we were mad at before. They have their whole world and we got no freaking idea what their world is about, what their fears are and what way they are going through. By the way, I never look at the outside picture as the real situation – all the fake smiles, fake stolen phrases, those masks that people wear have nothing in common with what people usually feel inside. So, another reason for why it is so hard to forgive is I believe, person’s own vulnerability. Have you found that people who have the sense of their worth, who have self-love usually forgive easier and have less complaints about the behavior of others. While people who are not so happy, and usually with a low self-esteem, who are weak, find it harder to forgive others. They may take one offense and build their whole life around themselves, feeling sorry about themselves, believing that the world is full of ugly people and they became a victim of it. People with a huge ego usually are not able to forgive. They are too much centered about themselves.
I do not understand how harmony and non-forgiving can be in the same boat. To my view, it is simply not possible. Forgiveness is setting yourself free, it is making love to yourself, don’t take the phrase as it is)) I mean showing love to yourself. And only strong people, who have self-love who care about themselves are able to forgive, because we all know that when we carry the hurt inside and do not allow us to forgive, we never feel good about it.
Forgiveness also opens a door to a better life and to greater opportunities. How often, because somebody has been hurt by the previous relationships and cannot find strength to forgive his partner’s mistakes, also cannot trust the other – new one. Although the new one does not have anything bad not to trust. But people often base their current relationships on the previous mistakes and therefore cannot enjoy the gifts that God gives them.
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How do you forgive the hurt? 9 года 11 мес. назад #2859

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My advice is this: first of all talk about the problem, about your hurt. :unsure:
Tell each other about their pain, anger (maybe - fear and shame).
But you must be respectful and trust during speaking about pain and anger with person who made hurt you.

Without exaggeration it's difficult, very difficult. :unsure: But It is very important do not to compare your suffering and do not try to establish your innocence, and do not require punishment. If you are able to go through such a hard experience together, after all your relationship can become better. :)

I mean to say, people only learn on their own, often painful mistakes. However, when they realize their weakness and mechanism of "doing", when they see that at the root is a seeking external approval, they will never deliberately do repeat the mistake again. I hope :)
thanks
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How do you forgive the hurt? 9 года 11 мес. назад #2872

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I like many people have been in situations when you have to forget someone for hurt or betrayed. And I've made some ​​conclusions that really helped me. Maybe they will help someone.
Firstly you need to calm down, think about what had happened and then do anything. But in any case, not in opposite, in such case you will only make yourself worse. It would be nice to understand why this parson made you cry.There must be some reasons. Was it made with purpose or accidentally without malice.
You should understand that a traitor is often not an evil man or woman, but just weak. It's easier to forgive weakness than anger. Perhaps in time he or she realizes his guilt and apologize to you. Do not harbor bad feelings and in any case do not try to take revenge on him (her). Be stronger and better than this person.
If you are faced with the betrayal of a loved one, remember that a one man (womem) can't play major role in your life forever, it is necessary to accept the idea that nothing lasts forever.
The seance of forgiveness is to understand why it had happened, as soon as you find the answers to these questions, you will immediately feel better.
Sometimes it happens that a person can not cope with hurt. Then maybe the aid of psychologists will help to heal wounds.
Another big step to forgiveness is understanding. This is the most difficult in achievement. You should try to understand the reason why someone he did it to you, and then accept it as a given.
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